BANANA GRABBERS DOT COM

At last night's party, BANANA GRABBERS DOT COM pal Jamie-Lee brought a disc of Christmas tunes titled "A Very Jossie Christmas." The disc featured a lot of Streisand (a favorite of hers), and led off with Babs' tune "Jingle Bells?" No, I'm not really sure why it's a question.

Anyways, many of Seth's guests were enamored/disgusted with the song, which was played (quite literally) dozens of times. The song, which features a mostly quick run-through of the Christmas staple, is pretty amusing and interesting. I had several conversations where I mentioned I want to manipulate the song's speed even more than Streisand herself did. Several of these people thought I was joking.

I was not.

Before I get to the "remixes," listen to the original if you've never heard the song:

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The joke in the room is that Barbra was on cocaine while recording the song. But, that's probably not true. But what if she was? Check out "Jingle Bells (Cocaine Remix)":

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Now, considering the song is a much quicker version of the standard tune, I was more interested in slowing it down. What if Babs had chugged a lot of NyQuil before recording? Find out by listening to "Jingle Bells (NyQuil Remix)":

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That's pretty slow. But not slow enough. I wanted to hear a real slog. I wanted Streisand in an experimental phase. Aphex Twin Streisand, if you will. Take a listen to "Jingle Bells (Funeral Dirge Remix)":

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If you enjoyed any of those so much that you want to have a copy, you can download them:

Jingle Bells (Cocaine Remix)
Jingle Bells (NyQuil Remix)
Jingle Bells (Funeral Dirge Remix)